Original Prankster
by felinefairy91
Summary: What happens when ever so dependent Hermione Granger loses her conscience and doesn't know if what she's doing is wrong or maybe right? who knows? read this darn fic and find out! R&R plz!
1. Wronski Feint

Original Prankster  
  
Chapter 1: Wronski Feint  
  
The blazing sun shone down upon the Gryffindor Quidditch team as they marched onto the Quidditch field, fully prepared to play the first game of the year. It was against Slytherin and Oliver Wood, as captain, was intent on success.  
  
"Looks like we're going to be playing in a furnace today..." Oliver Wood started as he looked up at the sky, shielding his eyes with his hand. "And not a cloud in sight!" he exclaimed. Wood sighed and at his team. "Anyone have any suggestions?"  
  
Before anyone had the opportunity to answer, they heard the sound of running footsteps coming towards them. Harry turned just in time to see a breathless girl run up to them, wand at the ready. Her cheeks were flushed an d it took her moment to catch her breath.  
  
"Harry! I was in the library this morning thinking about how you were going to play today in this horrid heat and I wanted to help." Hermione said in a rush. "And I've got the perfect spell."  
  
"Claderium filedra!" Hermione muttered. She touched everybody's head with her wand. "This will place a shady cloud above your heads the moment you get in the air. And don't worry;" she said, noticing Wood's look of concern, "I'll take the charm off once you're done! I hope it helps and good luck!" with that, she turned around and raced off, her hair flying in all directions.  
  
After Hermione left, the team agreed on sending her something special for helping them out. Perhaps a fruit basket?  
  
The Gryffindor and Slytherin team took their places on the field.  
  
"Mount your brooms, please," said Madam Hooch and with a shrill blast from her whistle both teams rose into the sky.  
  
Sure enough, right when they set off into the air, a friendly cloud appeared over their heads to screen them from the gaze of the piercing sun.  
  
"Looks like the Gryffindors have themselves something very useful indeed. Looks like some clever little witch knows her charms!" Lee Jordon bellowed over the over-excited crowd.  
  
Hermione blushed and caught sight of Professor Mcgonagall. She was ecstatic as she gazed at the Gryffindor team. Snape glared. The Slytherins were having a hard time indeed with the heat, that's for sure! Harry was watching a certain blonde carefully. Malfoy wasn't too happy about the advantage the Gryffindors seemed to have and Harry's suspicions rose when Malfoy flew towards Crabbe and Goyle and started to converse with them in low tones. He shrugged and decided to ignore it for now. The match was heating up (literally!) and he needed to keep an eye out for that snitch. Destiny compelled him to catch it at all costs!  
  
"The scores remain 0-0 and the snitch is nowhere in sight! It's Johnson with the quaffle heading for the goal, and she makes left and then right and dodges that horrid bludger and she YES! ... GRYFFINDOR SCORES!" There came a loud chorus of cheering from the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuffs and a fixed amount of boos from the Slytherins.  
  
Harry squinted, scanning the air for the snitch, noticing that Malfoy was watching him very closely. It was then when Harry decided to try out his Wronski Feint. Seeing that he was getting pretty good at it. Harry dived forcefully. Malfoy caught on quickly and followed. But then right at the last second, Harry plunged back up allowing the platinum blonde to smash face-first on the ground.  
  
"Ooooh! That's got to hurt!" Madam Hooch blew her whistle. "Time-out! Time- out! But that was an excellent Wronski Feint I daresay!" Lee Jordon exclaimed. Now there came a tremendous amount of boos from the Slytherins and if anyone were to look at Snape at that particular moment they would be able to see the usually impassive teacher red with rage!  
  
After Madam Pomfrey hastily examined Malfoy she deemed him well enough to continue.  
  
Harry started his real search for the snitch. Now with Malfoy's distracted by the bruises Madam Pomfrey hadn't had time to heal, Harry decided that he didn't have to worry about being followed for a while.  
  
Blood all over his impeccable Slytherin uniform, Malfoy was far from happy. This demanded vengeance! And he had just the thing... Malfoy gave a 'thumbs up' sign to Crabbe and Goyle. They nodded and began to prepare for their little scheme. (A/N MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...now our story begins! ( )  
  
"The bludger races towards Goyle, and he whacks it towards Crabbe, then Goyle, and wait, something's not right here...why are they passing the bludger?!!? And Crabbe hits the bludger straight at the audience! OH NO! It's heading for..."Lee Jordon didn't have time to say the name. Hermione got hit squarely in the forehead by the bludger and fainted.  
  
A/N Cliff hanger!!! I'm so evil! By the way.... Just in case your wondering, this story is in everybody's point of view. NOT only Harry's! Oh and another thing, Lee Jordon is the guy who speaks at the microphone or something telling the audience what's going on, and I'm shooting for at least 5 or 6 reviews! PLEASE!!!! R&R!!! It's my first fic so please be easy on me! 


	2. Something's Missing

Chapter 2: Something's missing?  
  
"STOP! STOP!" Harry screamed at the top of his lungs, circling the stadium on his firebolt. Madam Hooch blew her whistle and everyone crowded around Hermione. She lay unconscious and the students about her whispered amongst themselves, wondering if she was going to be alright.  
  
Annoyed, Professor Mcgonagall took out her wand from her robes and bellowed, "SILENCIO!" The crowd suddenly hushed and, in a calm voice, Professor Mcgonagall instructed them all to return to their dorms. Madam Pomfrey kneeled beside Hermione and tended to the unconscious 7th year girl.  
  
As the crowd parted, Harry flew straight towards Hermione, landing mere feet away from where she lay  
  
"Is she alright?" Harry asked as soon as Madam Pomfrey was in earshot.  
  
"Well if we don't get this young lady in the hospital wing soon, she won't be!" Madam Pomfrey said, shaking her fist angrily at the departing Slytherins. Harry watched as Madam Pomfrey conjured up a stretcher and levitated Hermione from the ground. Silent, Harry followed Madam Pomfrey to the Hospital Wing.  
  
Harry watched as Hermione lay in the small cot, noticing the ugly bruises that began to form on her face. Ron burst into the room. "Hermione!" he rushed over to the bed and stared at her, lost for words. Harry looked up at his other best friend. Ron stood there in shock, the color drained from his face, leaving his freckles to stand out more then they usually did.  
  
"Ron?" Harry started. "Are you all right?"  
  
Ron glanced at him for a moment then returned his gaze on Hermione. His mood suddenly changed from shock to vivid anger. His eyes flashed. "I'm going to kill Malfoy if it's the last thing I do!"  
  
"Ron, no, don't get ahead of yourself. We should be reasonable..." a low moan escaped from Hermione's lips as she twisted in her cot. Anger flashed in Harry's green eyes. "Lets get that little bugger."  
  
They both ran out of the hospital wing, leaving behind a very relieved Madam Pomfrey. Those two were so stubborn that she knew trying to get them to leave their best friend would be near impossible!  
  
Hermione was absent from all of her classes for the next two weeks. Ron and Harry had found Draco Malfoy on that unfortunate day sitting alone in the library. The details are not particularly important. All one needs to know is that he showed up the next day to potions with a nasty black eye. He insisted that he had tripped and fallen down three flights of stairs and his eye had hit up against the corner of an abandoned chair. Everyone remained mystified by the real reason behind his disfiguration and he dared not tell, too humiliated to even rat on Harry and Ron to a professor. He had adopted muggle sunglasses, to hide his eye.  
  
Classes didn't seem the same without the "Miss know-it-all". Even the teachers missed her presence. Whenever they asked the class a question, their eyes would go automatically to where Hermione Granger usually sat, and, noticing her empty seat, their eyes would look upon the rest of the class in disappointment to see not a single hand up in the air. And of course all the Gryffindors missed her, the house points Hermione normally earned for Gryffindor were sorely missed indeed.  
  
The only teacher who could care less about Hermione Granger, as much as a fat kid loves exercise, was Professor Snape. Yes for two whole weeks she was gone, and the greasy haired professor cared not a bit. Actually it appeared like he was in a cheery mood. The strange Irish jigs he did in the hallways... but forget him now, this fic is about the Hermione.  
  
Hermione came about from her slumber in a week, however her full recuperation took another week. When Madam Pomfrey's minute scrutinization couldn't find anything wrong about her, she agree to let Hermione go from the hospital wing. But something unusual happened instead...  
  
"Ron! Harry!" Hermione greeted both Harry and Ron with a friendly hug.  
  
"Glad to have you back Hermione" Harry grinned.  
  
She smiled. "So, did I miss anything?"  
  
"Well..." Harry began. "After we found out that it was all Malfoy's fault for you having end up in the hospital wing and all for two weeks, we sort of got back at him for you." He grinned at Ron, who grinned back.  
  
"Is that good?" Hermione asked them, confusion written all over her face.  
  
"Of course it is!" Ron replied.  
  
"Okay then!"  
  
Harry and Ron exchanged glances.  
  
"Hermione?" Harry asked. "Are you all right?'  
  
"I feel great Harry! But thanks for worrying!"  
  
(A/N BTW they're walking towards the Great Hall for lunch during this time.)  
  
They soon reached the great hall and sat down for lunch.  
  
"Harry, Ron, why is Malfoy wearing sunglasses," asked a confused Hermione, looking over to the Slytherin table. Harry and Ron exchanged another grin.  
  
"Don't worry about it 'Mione, eat up!" And with that Ron began to shovel food into his mouth and an enormously alarming rate.  
  
"Hey Hermione, could you pass me the salt?" Ron asked through a mouthful of food.  
  
"Sure Ron!" Reaching for the salt shaker Hermione unconsciously unscrewed the top and handed it to him. As Ron began to shake salt over his chips (A/N chips in the UK are French Fries here) and out toppled out all the salt. The once full salt shaker was not empty, its contents on Ron's plate.  
  
"Hermione?! Why did you do that for!" Ron stared at her wide-eyed.  
  
Hermione looked hurt. "I just passed you the salt."  
  
"Why did you unsrew the top?! "  
  
"Well sorry, you should have told me how tight you wanted the top screwed on next time!" Hermione shot back with a huff.  
  
"What kind of ridiculous justification is that?" Ron was turning red with anger, trying to brush off as much salt from his fries as he could.  
  
"Hermione? Are you sure you're all right?" Harry cut in, not wanting the silly dispute to get out of hand.  
  
"I'm fine! What's wrong with you two!" And with that she burst into tears and ran out of the great hall.  
  
Hermione ran down the nearest stairway and when she tired, she stopped to catch her breath. , She now wasn't sure where she was but right now it didn't matter to her. She replayed the lunch scene in her mind, her own questions confusing her.  
  
She then paced back and forth , thinking back on how rude Ron and Harry had been to her. What had she done? Why were they mad at her? She had only been trying to help!  
  
Suddenly, a wooden door appeared in the middle of the hall and, involuntarily, Hermione walked though.  
  
"Father! It won't work! I've told you already! If we do that we'll get caught!"  
  
"I have told you many times before Teresa, if don't start causing more trouble soon, I'll be out of business."  
  
"But there has got to be another way!"  
  
Suddenly, through the door came...Hermione!  
  
"Who is she! What is going on here!?" Teresa's father bellowed.  
  
The young girl quickly silenced her father and went up the bewildered, bushy haired girl. "What's your name? How did you get here?" She asked with feigned sweetness .  
  
"My name is Hermione Granger." She replied. "And I don't know how I got here, I just saw a door appear and before I had known it I had gone through and..."  
  
"Hush, let me see..." Teresa scanned the girl from head to toe. Placing her cold fingertips on Hermione's temples, Teresa closed her eyes. A wide grin broke out on her face. "Ah ha! I knew there was something strange about you!" With a jump of joy, Teresa twirled to face her father.  
  
"Father!" Teresa's eyes shone. "We're saved! It seems that this young girl has come from Hogwarts and has apparently lost her conscious! She is like a child, not knowing the differences between right or wrong, her mind ready to mold!"  
  
"And how will that help us?" her father replied, apparently confused.  
  
"Don't you get it? She can help us!" She emphasized, her already wide grin ready to break her face.  
  
Her father's head snapped in realization. "By Merlin! Teresa! You're a genius!"  
  
"Father, let me handle everything." She turned back to the young girl who just stood there, edgily waiting for someone to explain everything to her..  
  
"What were you just talking about? What is going on? Why wont anyone explain anything to me!"  
  
Teresa put her arm around her, pretending to sympathize and trying to comfort the disturbed girl.  
  
"Now Hermione, tell me if what I say true. Your friends have not been treating you fairly, am I correct?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"And you would like to do something nice to them by doing them a favor. Then they could all like you again, right?"  
  
Hermione smiled. "Exactly!"  
  
"Perfect! Well then I have a present for you that will help you give them what they really want!"  
  
"Oh please! I'd love it!"  
  
Teresa smiled and went behind a curtain. "I'll be right back! You can go make yourself comfortable over there!" she pointed to an overstuffed couch that Hermione could have sworn wasn't there a moment ago. With a shrug, Hermione sat down.  
  
Shortly, Teresa came back with a spherical object cradled in her hands. "Here, take this.' She handed Hermione the sphere. Hermione took it with both hands. "What is it?" she asked. "It is a magic 8-ball. You see, whenever you want to do a certain someone a favor, you just say their name and shake the ball, then, it will say right here-"She pointed to a blank space on the sphere just long enough for a couple of sentences to be read. "What you can do for them that will make them happy.": She smiled warmly.  
  
Hermione stared in awe. "Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I wish I could do something in return!"  
  
"Oh don't worry" The other girl said to herself absent-mindedly "You're doing us a huge favor."  
  
Then without another thought, Hermione went through the door back to Hogwarts.  
  
Later...  
  
"Now let's see now...who shall I do first?" Hermione sat in her bed while everyone was fast asleep. "How about...Ron!" She said his name out loud and then shook the black ball. "Ooh! Interesting..."  
  
A/N OH NO!!! What will Hermione do?! Want to find out? REVIEW! Fuzzy smiley stickers to everyone who reviews! Please!!!!!! I don't think I'll make another chapter if I don't get at least 10 reviews!!! - R&R!!!!! BTW...  
  
To harrypotterluver (anonymous person): thanx for the suggestion! I'll expand my vocabulary a bit. How was this chapter anyway?  
  
To notlefmot: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
To other people who HAVEN'T reviewed!!! Please review! I get sad when no one reviews! Pleaz!!! R&R!!! 


	3. Illusions

**A/N **Hey people! I edited my first chapter, that's why I had to delete my whole story and put it back on, now I only have one review, but there were about 3 or 4 in the beginning. Oh Well. BTW to answer a question a reviewer has indirectly asked me is that Teresa and her father are people who are just there to cause trouble in the world, they're like the people who came out of Pandora's Box. I rest my case. (If you still do not understand, please email me.) Hope you like the next chapter! :)

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**Chapter 3:** Illusions

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Ron woke up and cursed himself, he still had a really bad headache from last night.

The baffled red-head scanned his bed. _Nothing_ he noted. _But I was positive that I felt something...what else could have woken me so late at night? _

A huge snore emerged from Neville's mouth. Ron had just found the answer to his own question.

_Of course, I rest my case_ and with that, he lay back down in his cozy four-poster bed and tried to go back to sleep. Eventually he did.

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**In the Morning...**

_What a great night's sleep_ Ron thought as he yawned and rubbed his eyes. He looked up owlishly, he had a clear vision of his bed and the room.

He noticed that everybody else was still asleep. He threw the blankets off and stood up. Stretching, Ron his bunny slippers. They were a huge embarrassment to him. His mum had bought them at a discount price. Or so he claimed...

But he didn't feel fluffy slippers; he didn't feel slippers at all. In fact he felt something cold, hairy, and...alive! The same description of...

"AAAAAAAAH!!! SPIDERS! BLOODY SPIDERS **EVERYWHERE**!!!"

Everyone in the room woke up with a start, cursing Ron. They all pulled their blankets over themselves trying to get some last minute sleep.

Ron crouched as far as he could away from the edge of his bed.

Harry noticed the expression of pure terror etched on Ron's face.

"Ron, what's wrong?" Harry asked with a yawn, noting that nothing was out of the ordinary in the room.

"There are spiders Harry. Can't you see them? They're everywhere!!" Ron answered.

Alarmed, Harry took off his glasses and tried to rub them clean. Putting his glasses back on, he looked down and around. Nothing. He didn't see anything. He bent down to see if he could feel anything.

"Harry! What are you doing?! They'll eat you alive!" Ron warned.

By now, Harry concluded that Ron had gone mad... either that or he still wasn't fully awake.

"Ron, There's nothing there. I don't see anything. Are you all right? I _told_ you not to eat that cream puff you found in the hallway last night!"

Ron was only half listening.

"Oh please!" he pleaded with his eyes as large as saucers, "please make them all disappear! I'll be good! Promise! I'll get lots of OWLS too! Oh please oh please oh pleeeease!"

Harry watched in disgust.

Professor Mcgonagall burst into the boy's dormitory.

"What's the ruckus about? And Mr. Weasley, pray tell why you look like a turkey that found out it was Thanksgiving?"

"The spiders!" He sobbed. "You see'em don't you? They're here to get their revenge!"

Mr. Weasley, what has gotten into you! There is nothing here!" Professor Mcgonagall replied harshly. "Now get out of bed and get dressed! Today's no holiday! UP!" and with that, she pointed her wand and him and muttered, "_Wingardium Leviosa!" _

Ron's jaw dropped. _What's wrong with everybody! They don't see it! We're all going to be killed by spiders nobody but I can see and..._

Before he could finish his thought, Ron was shocked to discover he now was floating several inches in the air. He panicked. _Aaah! They're going to throw me in with the spiders! _He grabbed his bed, holding on for dear life!

After a half an hour of struggling, Professor Mcgonagall gave up and finally sent him to the hospital wing.

Everybody could see Ronald Weasley, who had taken on a full grown mountain troll in his first year, gone to the Chamber of Secrets in his second year, and so on and so forth, have his bed (with him hanging on to it) being floated all the way to the hospital wing.

Nevertheless, even out of his room, in the hospital wing, he could see spiders everywhere creeping and crawling on the floor. Of course it was expected that Ron fainted right then and there, but at least he fainted on his own bed. Stubborn Weasley. 

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__

_Well that was fun! _Hermione smiled as she sat back down on her bed at the end of the day. _And I'm sure the screams I heard were actually bursts of joy and happiness!_

Hermione hadn't told anybody that it was her who had put a spell on him to give him the illusions. Because Teresa, the nice lady, had told her not to until everybody was happy, then they would all love her! Love, love, love! Hermione loved love!

_Well, who should I do now? Maybe a person who is really really mean to me! So I can be their friend! Hmmmmmmmm... Draco Malfoy!_

She said his name out loud and recited the spell that followed...

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A/N Hope you liked this chapter! I know that Hermione looks really annoying in that fourth to last sentence there, but oh well. Pleaze review! Review, review, review! Felinefairy loves reviews! :)Anyways, even if you have reviewed already (due to some editing in the first chapter) then PLEAZE review again! I don't care if it's the same person over and over again! Laterz!


	4. Animal Crackers

**A/N Sorry for the long wait. Had WAY too many stuff to do! Please blame it on my darn school and its homework. (Puts on a fake smile) Have a good day! **

Chapter 4: Animal Crackers

_I'm going to do Harry's right now too! So it'll be double the fun and love! _Hermione thought gleefully.

She now said Harry's full name out loud too and recited the spell that followed in the 8-ball.

* * *

"_Mother? What's wrong"_

_Draco's mother was standing there. Tissue in her hand. Sobbing uncontrollably. _

"_Mother? Tell me!"_

_She looked at him. Her eyes filled with distress. "Our secret animal crackers recipe…it's… it's…gone!" She started bawling again._

"_WHAT! NOT THE SACRED ANIMAL CRACKERS RECIPE! ANYTHING BUT THAT MOTHER! PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!"_

_She looked down in dismay. _

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Draco got down on his knees and threw his hands up in the air as he clenched his fists. _

_He finally looked up grief stricken and asked shakily, "Would I at least please have the name of our culprit?" _

_Narcissa Malfoy hesitated. "Harry Potter"_

Draco Malfoy woke up with "Murder Harry potter!" racing across his mind. The same thought was in his head as he dressed and the same thought was in his head as he headed down to the Great Hall, but not for Breakfast, for Revenge!

He had never been happier to see Harry by the entrance of the great hall. Ignoring Hermione and Ron's protests, Draco grabbed Harry by the shirt and pinned him to the wall. "Where is it." Draco demanded from the already confused Harry.

Harry glared. "I don't know what you're talking about Malfoy."

Draco stared back icily. "You know exactly what I'm talking about Potter! You stole our sacred recipe for animal crackers! And I demand that you give it back or I'll tear you to pieces!"

Oblivious to both of them, a crowd of Hogwarts students had gathered around them.

Harry turned pale. "Y-you wouldn't be _selling _these animal crackers, would you?"

"Yes! But _you _would already know that now wouldn't you!"

Harry turned even paler and whispered something to Draco's ear. Draco nodded.

If you saw Harry now, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference from him and a ghost. Draco let go of him, but still glared.

Harry gritted his teeth. "No one steals my favorite animal crackers recipe! No one!" He looked at Draco, "Look, I know that I didn't steal the recipe and I know that you didn't either, so let us join forces and find the bloody thief!" He extended a hand. "Partners?"

Draco took it. "Partners. Come, we have work to do, but after breakfast." Everyone stared in awe as the two former enemies, walked together through the entrance of the Great Hall.

One person in the crowd finally spoke up. "It's amazing what can happen in less then five minutes."

"Amen." Another person said shortly after.

* * *

After eating breakfast, both Harry and Draco went to the library to discuss on what they were going to do.

"First," Draco told Harry, "we need to write down a list of suspects."

"No, remember, _everyone _is as suspect."

"Your right." Draco agreed. "We're going to have to do this the hard way."

Harry looked at him questioningly. "And what exactly _is _the hard way?"

He narrowed his eyes. "We'll have to spy on, _everybody."_

Harry stared at him wide-eyed. "_Everybody?"_

Draco nodded. "_Everybody." _

Harry sighed. "Ok, for now, you do the Slytherins and I'll do the Griffindors. It'll be easier for both of us then, deal?"

"Deal. Let's go."

Mission Impossible Music plays So Harry and Draco went to their common rooms. But while they were leaving the library, they overheard something…

"Well, I'd better go and check on my tastys in the oven!"

They both turned around. It was Snape! And he appeared to have been talking to himself. He now headed for the dungeons.

Harry and Draco exchanged a glance and nodded. They followed Snape all the way down to the dungeons.

Using Harry's invisibility cloak to hide them.

"Holy-"Draco started as he and Harry were suddenly revealed to a hidden room with a kitchen. Complete with frilly curtains on the windows and pink oven mitts.

Snape put on the mitts and opened the oven, to reveal a whole tray of…animal crackers! (Surprise surprise) Both Harry's and Draco's jaw dropped. Harry looked at the blonde head beside him. His eyes were filled with fury, but when something clicked in his mind, they turned back to normal.

"We have to see if those are the actual ones. But how?" Draco muttered under his breath just enough for Harry to hear. They were both deep in thought for a moment. Suddenly, Harry whispered something in Draco's ear. Draco's eyes widened as he gradually turned his head to look at Harry in awe.

"Ok, number one, what the hell!? And number two, do you even know the spell?"

Harry shrugged. "I read in the daily prophet once. And being the best friend of the smartest girl in Hogwarts sorta rubs off on you."

Draco nodded slowly.

"C'mon. We have to go somewhere, more-"he paused as he gave Draco the you-know-what-I-mean glance.

They hurried out as Harry led both of them to Moaning Myrtles bathroom.

Draco looked around as they entered. "Hey-"

"Don't ask." Harry interrupted.

"Ok…"

Harry looked at the Slytherin squarely in the face. "Remember, close your eyes right when I say the spell, and _don't _open them until the odd feeling stops! Are you ready?"

He nodded.

Harry lifted his wand, _"Altera Sintryio!"_

A Blue light emerged from Harry's wand. They both closed their eyes. A strange sensation came over both of them. Both feeling like they were turning to jelly still had their eyes shut tight. Then, the feeling was gone. They opened their eyes as they both looked at themselves, shocked for words. Draco, who had turned into an attractive 30 year old blonde with soft curls up to her shoulders, was the first to recover.

"So," Draco said with his new feminine voice, "where exactly did you find this spell again?"

Harry looked at him. He had turned into an also very attractive 30 year old with long straight black hair, making his/her green eyes look incredibly stunning. "In the Daily Prophet, about these two Aurors going undercover."

"Interesting..."

Both of them also noticed their new change of wardrobe.

"Wow." Harry said noticing this.

"You can say that again." Draco said as he also looked at himself. He walked back towards the entrance. "Ready to go then?" He smirked. (Yes! The same Malfoy smirk!)

Harry sauntered over to him, nearly tripping. "Darn high heels..."

With that, they both walked down the halls towards the Potions Dungeon.

Ignoring the constant whistles of passing students, they went on. When they finally arrived, Draco knocked on the door twice. Snape came to the door. He paused he checked both of them out. Particularly Harry. Harry shivered in disgust. Their Potions professor smiled, "Would you two like to come in for tea?" Harry froze.

"We'd be delighted!" Draco answered quickly so when Snape turned around he jabbed Harry hard in the ribs.

"Ow!"

Snape turned around, "Excuse me?"

"Uh, I mean, how kind it is of you." He/She smiled nervously.

Snape dismissed the strange action as he led them both to a couch. "Please wait here while I get some tea." He left.

Harry turned to look at Draco, "What was that for?!"

"Pay more attention next time!"

"Fine…"

Snape had come back by now with a plate of animal crackers and three cups of tea.

They both took a cup of tea. "Well, I've never seen you two around here before. And I think I'm pretty sure I would have noticed such stunning ladies around here. What are your names?" He looked at Harry in particular.

He/She shivered once more. _Ew! Ew! Ew! _"My name is Har-"He/She felt a painful kick not surprisingly from Draco. "Har-Harriet!" Harry er..slash Harriet replied happily at his quick thinking.

Snape nodded. "And you?" He glanced at Draco.

"Um…Dracleen" replied the Draco slash Dracleen as (**A/N ok, it's getting pretty annoying doing the slash thing, so I'll just call them she's until they turned back to normal) **_she _smiled.

Harry and Draco had now finished the plate of animal crackers.

Snape smiled, "Delicious aren't they?"

They nodded.

"Then I'll just go get you some more." He left.

Dracleen looked at Harriet. "It's definitely them!" He gestured to the empty plate of animal crackers.

"So? What do you suggest we do now?"

"Just act normal! We'll figure something out!"

Snape came back with another plate of animal crackers.

Dracleen got up. "I think we should be leaving now. I have some work to do." She looked at Harriet expectantly.

"Oh! And me too. It was delightful to meet you kind sir. Good bye!"

"Good bye!" Harriet and Dracleen said as they showed themselves to the door. They barely made it to Moaning Myrtles bathroom just in time to transform once again.

"I'm so glad to have my body back!" Harry cried.

"Ditto." Draco said, "But you know what this means."

Harry looked at Draco, "What?"

"_War."

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**A/N Look what Hermione's done! Tut tut tut! Review please! **


	5. Filch the Squib

**A/N Yes yes, I know, tis has been ages since I've updated…Oh well, thank you to those who have been faithful to this dreadful story…on with it!**

Hermione laughed and jumped with delight! _This is so much fun! I can't wait to do it again! _

Hermione pondered a while, debating on who she should "gain the love of" next. _Why not the cranky man with the kitty? I'm sure he'd love me after this!_

Hermione retrieved the 8-ball from her bag as she lay on the comfy cushions in the common room. She had found it empty since everyone was at Hogsmeade.

"Filch." She shook the ball. The spell appeared. "Accio Mrs Norris!"

The unconscious Mrs. Norris flew in, it appeared to have banged into many things on the way, and slumped onto Hermione's lap.

Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion. She glanced at the 8-ball and noticed a second part. She muttered the few words that were written, and when she looked up, Mrs. Norris was gone!

She smiled. "Mission accomplished."

That night, Filch was stalking around the corridors as usual. Looking for new victims as usual, when he noticed that Mrs. Norris hadn't been back for hours! 'She should be back by now!' The confuzzled caretaker thought. 'There are plenty of dirty children that break the rules every night in this blasted school!'

Distantly, he heard a loud disturbance of shattered glass and evil cackling laughs coming from the divination tower. Running at break neck old man speed, he huffed and puffed and climbed up the ladder to see…

"AH HA!" Filched bellowed. There Peeves was, having fun ('ick, what a horrid word!' thought Filch) breaking foggy crystal balls. As he spotted Filch he cackled once again.

"Filthy Wilthy Filchy! Wilthy Filthy Filchy! Filthy Wilthy Filchy! Wilthy Filthy FILCHY!" He sang in his annoying voice.

Filch cursed. "I'm going to get you out of this school if I die trying!"

"Well, I hope you don't expect me to die…BECAUSE I CAN'T"

"I hate immortal souls…can't they end it?" Filch muttered.

"Oh don't worry! I'm sure some 'MAGIC' could clear this mess right up! Oh, but.." he put on his fake thinking face, "that's right, YOU CAN'T DO MAGIC!" he cackled for the third time as Filch shot daggers at his ghostly face.

"Filthy Filchy's a MUGGLE! Filthy Filchy's a MUGGLE!" Peeves said in a sing song voice and he circled about the room.

Filch screamed in anger trying to smack the pesky ghost with his broom as Peeves floated out the door with a huge grin on his face.

"I'M A SQUIB YOU BLUNDERING IDIOT! There is a big DIFFERENCE!"

After a couple moments of silence, Filch sighed.

After the Hogsmeade weekend, (Where Draco and Harry plotted the whole time at) the game of Ravenclaw VS Griffindor approached the day after.

As everyone in the Great Hall was encouraging their fellow players, something else was brewing outside at the Qudditch field…

Professor McGonagall clambered through every spell she knew to handle with the crisis at hand. She had called in every teacher in Hogwarts to see if they knew anything of help. None proved able to.

"Severus, please do fetch Mr. Filch" The agitated professor advised Snape.

The greasy haired teacher nodded and left.

A few minutes later, Filch arrived. Out of breath, he asked Proffesor McGonagall what seemed to be the problem.

Professor McGonagall merely pointed.

There in the middle of the Ravenclaw-to-be-goal-post, dangled Mrs. Norris in mid-air by her tail.

"We've tried everything, I'm sorry Argus, but we simply cannot postpone this match."

Filch stood there gaping. He eyes twitched. "Peeves.."

"Pardon?"

"IT WAS THAT FILTHY BLASTED PEEVES! HE DID THIS TO MY MRS. NORRIS!"

"I'm sorry Argus," Professor McGonagall explained, "but this simply could not have been done by a mere ghost. I fear that this is beyond us. The only thing we can do is wait, and in the meanwhile, I was able to paralyze Mrs. Norris, so she will not be able to feel the things that hit her. By the end of the match we hope that we have been able to find the counter to this. She will then be taken to the Hospital wing immediately.

All Filch could do was kneel down wide-eyed with his mouth open. He was speechless.

"Well then, let's get to our seat then, this match is starting in three minutes!" with that, all the teachers helped pick up the shocked Filch as they made there way towards their seats.

In five minutes, the Quidditch field was full up now, and the opposing teams in their locker rooms (or, you know what I mean).

Everyone immediately started pointing at the slack cat at the goal hoops and laughing.

The teams came out and cheering ensued. The captains shook hands, but they didn't notice the dangling cat until they were in the air.

"Bloody Hell!" Fred came up to Harry "This is perfect! I can finally get that damn cat back for busting me all those times!"

Harry smiled. This was going to be fun.

Lee Jordon started his commentary. "And they're off! The Quidditch balls have been released!"

(Sorry I don't want to go into detail about the game, so I'll get to the main part)

20 minutes later, Ravenclaw is taking the lead as the scores are 100 to 80.

"There now seems to be some Bludger action yet again, but this time from the Weasley twins! It seems that they want to have a shot at the unconscious Mrs. Norris, and in the bludger goes! Right in the suckers face! GOT to hurt! Wait does that count for points?"

Meanwhile, Filch was sobbing in the crowd as the teachers tried to reassure him.

Fred and George hi-fived each other.

"Oh no! It seems while everyone was paying attention to the red heads, the Griffindor team scored! CHEERS ENSUED It's a close match! Ravenclaw still leading 100 to 90. Lets see how our Seekers are doing…"

Harry didn't want to catch the snitch yet, he was having enough fun watching Mrs. Norris hit again and again. _Oh well, it has to end sometime…_

"REEEEEEEWRRRRRR!"

Harry instinctively snapped his head towards the disturbance, and almost started laughing.

Everyone stared as the formerly unconscious Mrs. Norris, whom had waken up with bruises and a black eye. She was struggling to get down, obviously frightened to death of heights.

There were some sympathetic glances from people in the crowd. While Fred and George Weasley were smiling like Christmas had come early.

"MRS. NORRIS!" Filch was standing up in the crowd screaming at the top of his lungs. He grabbed Snape's shirt. "Get… my…cat…DOWN!"

Snape obviously annoyed, took out his wand. Let's just say that Filch was no longer unconscious.

Harry, now also feeling a bit sorry for the terrified cat, decided to end the game. He searched for the snitch, and finally glimpsed it near the opposite end of the field. Flying towards it at top speed, he noticed Cho following him.

The snitch, caught in the act, flew away from them. It was now hovering near the screeching feline. Cho and Harry were neck to neck now, having both their hands outstretched, the snitch all of a suden flew into Mrs. Norris's mouth. The cats' cheeks flapped with the snitch inside.

Harry and Cho exchanged awkward glances that meant 'now what?'

Cho suddenly had a determined look on her face, Ravenclaw hadn't won the cup in years! She had to win this!

The Ravenclaw extended her hand towards the mouth, at the same time, Harry followed with his hand close behind, just in case she chickened out.

Mrs. Norris was experiencing Hell. So when she saw Cho's hand coming towards her, she lashed it all out. She screamed as loud as a cat could and tried to scratch the living daylights out of the two kids in front of her.

Cho was alarmed. In fact she got so frightened, she retreated a bit on her broom. Meanwhile, Harry, having dealt with wild animals (thanks to Hagrid) kept his calm. He was rewarded as the snitch came zooming out of the feline's mouth.

He caught it swiftly. Ending the game…

The Griffindor team was cheered all the way out of the stadium. Filch was the last to leave. He staying there weeping for his poor cat 'til sun down.

When suddenly, right when the sun set, it was like invisible strings were being cut. Mrs. Norris fell at top speed towards the ground, as Filch ran faster than his old man speed to catch her.

He caught her unconscious since she had fainted in the middle of her fall. He then hugged her and wouldn't let go.

2 hours later.

Filch was placed at Mungo's hugging his cat.

Hermione clapped her hands in pleasure.

_Filch and his kitty are so happy together now! But then why was he crying? Hmmm, it must be nothing! Teresa told me it as okay! I'm sure he'll thank me and be my best friend forever!_

She gave her self a pat on the back.

_I want to do Dumbledore now! He seems so stressed all the time nowadays… _


End file.
